The Snow Blur
by Raven Of Dark
Summary: Left to fend for herself on a cold land, she is taken to Hogwarts where she meets the changes in her life. Mature rating for later content, will have slash writing
1. Snow Filled Eyes

A/N: Hello! I've come back with a new story that I have been sleeping on for a while and now that I am on my spring break, I figured I now have the time sit down and write at least the first chapter down. This will be another Voldemort father thing from me, but I am twisting my plot around that. This will be mature, have slash, abuse and neglect and I will tell any flamers out there, I do not care what you think, as I know this is not cannon. I highly respect Ms. Rowling for her work and giving us a world and barrels full of characters to work with.

I do not in anyway own the Harry Potter series, if I did, Harry would be happily together with Draco (with me pouting in a corner) and Severus and Lily would be married with three kids. J.K Rowling owns all, even my soul.

Rating M for Abuse, Neglect, Slash and just the general theme for later on. LV/ OC, OC/BZ, DM/HP

**Chapter 1: Snow filled eyes**

Bright sapphire eyes stared out into the cold, her small frame shivering in the mild snowstorm that was once again, not uncommonly, surging in Moscow, her 'home' for the last two years.

She didn't know what a home really was, being an orphan since birth and the system in chaos then as it was still making the transition from the USSR to a Russian government, so she was moved constantly to different orphanages all over the state, landing in Moscow admits an administrative change at the orphanage. She was left to herself, just three-years-old, eyes seeing nothing but terror as she was bullied and harassed by the older children, tugging at her short black hair and pushing her into objects and down stairs. She did everything she could to get help from the adults, but she was just pushed away, back into abusive hands. One child, named Natasha, took every chance to hurt her, even going so far as to push her off a fourth floor landing, causing the then four-year-old to fall into a semi-frozen pond, giving her a fever that bedded her for two weeks. After that incident, she avoided anything off the ground floor, even her own bedroom on the second floor until what she was told was her fifth birthday, rushing up to the room, grabbing her only other clothes: a thin part of socks, an old blue sweater and patched up pants & her stuffed bear before slipping out of the orphanage with a limp, another 'present' from Natasha, who had tripped her, causing her to both twist her ankle but also cut her arms on the sharp objects she landed on.

Moscow residents had a habit of overlooking lone children if it looked like they were taking care of themselves, which she was, barely and also avoided talking to her, even when she asked for water. Two weeks she had been on her own, dealing with her old injuries and any new ones from the other wayward children and also avoiding the adults from the orphanage when she spotted them, until the weather started getting worse, forcing the shops she had been nicking food from to close and move indoors. So here she sat, looking meekly up at any adult that passed, looking away quickly when she heard one-woman whisper to the man next to her

"Poor little dear, she looks lost, do you think we should talk to the police?"

But his response stopped the fear that was starting to rise in her little chest

"No Sasha, they have enough going on without worrying over another orphan."

She thought she was in the clear until she spotted two blue boots standing directly in front of her. She slowly looked up in fear, seeing that the clothing matched the boots, even the man's eyes, which were sky blue. He had a long beard that went to his waist and look old enough to be one of the elders at the school she saw other children outside the orphanage, but when he leaned down to her eye level, she knew he was even older then he seemed.

His mouth was moving but she couldn't understand a word coming out of his mouth and so when he reached forward, she startled back, terror shining in her eyes. He stopped, sat back and sighed before bring a long, thin stick of brown wood of his pocket and pointed it at his throat then at her throat; he looked at her again and whispered

"Do understand me now, little one?"

She nodded, but did not move from her spot against the cold wall, still terrified of the old man. He didn't have outward signs that he would hurt her, but many had lied to her before.

"Now I know that you may be frightened and confused right now, but I promise you that I am not going to hurt you. I want to help you; in fact I want to take you away to someplace much more fun then this cold land. What do you think of that, huh?" He asked, smiling at her.

She was wide eyed at him, was this a joke? Another cruel prank from fate? But it seemed so real, but she had been fooled in the past. What else did she stand to lose? Finally, she stood and nodded, gingerly taking his hand when he offered it again, feeling a strange pull at all sides before she was suddenly taken from the snow burdened Moscow to a damp, but warm environment, a huge stone castle looming in front of her. She didn't see much of it before her mind started swimming and everything turned the wrong way, her head soon meeting the damp ground, the old man cleaning her clothes, which seemed to have been covered in her own vomit, before he scooped her up and raced into the castle. Most of the way was a blur, but when they ran into a very bright room, she not only heard him speak but then a woman's voice.

"Poppy, I need you now!" He said, placing her on the nearest bed.

A woman, who must have been the Poppy person, burst of a room, in a nurse's uniform and without a word rushed to the bedside. She was too tired to even try and move away from the nurse's fingers but they left to be replaced with a short, thing red stick, waved over her small frame and a displeased look overtook the nurse's face.

"Albus, please tell you did not bring her here by side-apparation! She has hypothermia, a fever of 101 and several injuries and now those are all severely stressed thanks to you! Please, leave my hospital wing or I will not hesitate to take back my oath!" The woman hissed, her brown eyes sparking.

Albus nodded and went to touch the girl, but she found the energy to recoil, moving to the edge of the bed, eyes wide again as she stared at him before he left, leaving her in the care of Poppy, who went to work quickly but at a pace that wouldn't frighten her, Poppy seeing the defensive posture on many Slytherin's in the past. When it was clear to her that Poppy truly didn't mean any harm, she relaxed into the middle of the bed and let the woman work, who gave her a warm smile.

"Can you tell me if anything else hurts dearie?" Poppy asked, sitting on the chair next to the bed.

When she answered, it was clear that whatever the old man had done had faded on her end, because the nurse only looked confused before pulling out her stick again and whispering while a graceful arc of the wood that ended over her throat again.

"_Reddo._"

"Ok, try that answer for me again."

Slowly, she opened her mouth and whispered

"My ankle hurts."

The nurse popped up and examined both ankles before smiling over her left one, walked over to a cabinet and pulled a lime green filled jar out, walking back over to the bed. She pulled the ankle up gingerly before applying some of the green goop to her ankle, pain instantly disappearing with a sigh from her lips.

"Now it was only twisted so it just needs some rest. Anything besides those cuts along your arms, how about a name?" Poppy asked, rubbing a different goop on her cuts, this time all the tiny wounds stinging before numbing.

She shook her head and whispered "Orphans don't have names if they aren't given one at birth and my mother died before she could or before she told anyone."

Poppy look saddened and held her hands in her larger ones. "How old are you?"

"Five."

"Very smart for a five-year-old, tell you what, how about I give you a name? I bet you'll like it."

Her eyes caught the child's sapphire before the girl nodded and Poppy started thinking while she went into her office to fire call Severus for more nutrient and growth potions and after she spoke to the man, the name appeared in her head.

"How about Xander, pretty unique name don't you think?" She asked, walking back out.

The girl looked at her curiously before a deep thinking look overtook her features and she sat there for five minutes before looking up and nodding, her eyes smiling.

"So Xander it is, oh Severus there you are. How many do you have for me?" Poppy said, turning towards the door.

Xander turned and watched as a tall, dark haired man walked into, suddenly locking her sapphire eyes with his onyx and she instantly felt safe near him, despite his cold exterior. He had shoulder length black hair and a hooked nose but despite his mask, he seems generally concerned when he turned towards her, while Poppy put the bottles into the cabinet.

"Five of the growth potion and seven nutrient potions. I have more brewing if you think you will need more." His voice only seemed to calm Xander further, who moved to sit on her knees, but her ankle cause her to move her legs to the side of the bed, her feet just over the edge.

"When did she get here, Poppy?"

"Albus brought her in about thirty minutes ago, stupid old-Xander back under the covers, you still have a fever young lady- he brought her by apparation while she had a twisted ankle, 101 fever, hypothermia and several other little injuries that were stressed because of him and he wondered why she puked when she landed. Sometimes, I wonder if that man hasn't completely lost it!" Poppy answered, moving back to Xander, who had thrown herself back under the warm covers, with three bottles in her hands.

"You're not the only one, may I Poppy?" Severus replied, standing.

Poppy looked at Xander, who didn't seem frightened at all, nodded and walked back to her office, the door remaining open as she continued her quest for her own bed, eyes shooting back to the ward, Xander's bed in plain view, which comforted the medi-witch.

Xander saw that the nurse would be right there if she needed help, so she really wasn't worried when the man sat on the edge of the bed, holding a blue filled bottle.

"Xander, my name is Severus. Do you know where you are?"

"No, sir."

"Russian I see, where were you born?"

"The matron at the orphanage said I was born in St. Petersburg, but that old man found me in Moscow."

"Ok, well you are in Southern Scotland right now, do you know where that is? No, well that is very far from Moscow, better weather I think, even if it rains a lot. Now, what I am about to tell you is not a fairy tale: you are in Hogwarts, a school of witches and wizards and because you can see this school without the help of any spell-"

"Is that how she was able to get me to speak English?" Xander asked, pointing towards Poppy's office.

"Yes it was, though it's very rude to interrupt people when they are speaking, Xander. As I was saying, as you can see this school that means you are a witch and would normally attend the wizarding-school in Germany when you turned eleven, but as I don't think you will be going back, my guess is that you will be coming back here. Now, either Poppy or I will finish this conversation with you in the morning, but you are still ill, so I'm going to give you these potions here ok: one is a fever reducer, which will help you sleep, this one is a dreamless sleep, letting you sleep though the night and the last one is a nutrient potion, self explanatory. Any questions?" Severus asked, handing her the first potion.

She shook her head and carefully sniffed each bottle before she downed each on, turning on her side, facing Poppy's door, but before she drifted off, she whispered

"You'll come back tomorrow?"

When he nodded, she smiled and drifted asleep, clutching the blankets near her, wishing for her stuffed bear. He stood and walked out of the wing, her eyes standing out in his mind but what stood out more was her instant trust, while it seemed like Poppy worked harder to gain the young girl's trust. He let these thoughts flow through his mind as he checked his brewing potions before turning in for the night.

Over the next week, Poppy's spell had been taken off every morning so she could start teaching English to Xander, who looked none to happy but perked up the first morning when Severus entered the hospital only to be disappointed when he started to help the medi-witch, as she was told by Poppy that she was not a nurse but the equal of a doctor from her old world. But it seemed they started to make a break through, only to be interrupted by Albus coming into the hospital wing, sending her to the other side of the bed, a string of what sounded like very rude Russian flying from her lips as she stared at the old man.

"Seems like she is getting better." Was all he said before walking out, calling Severus to follow him, the dark man leaving after assuring the young girl he would be back.

Xander looked at Poppy, who was perched on the side of the bed, her hands wringing the hem of her apron.

"I swear I will hurt that man one day, he must know he frightens you, causing you more stress." She whispered, glaring at the now closed door.

"Ok, back to your lesson."

Two hours later, Poppy was cheering when Severus returned, a quirk of his eyebrow had her going on about how quickly Xander was learning English. He turned to look at the girl, who was smiling broadly at him.

"Hello, Severus." She said, in broken English, but still a vast improvement.

He gave her a small smirk before picking up where Poppy left off, letting the woman return to working on the pile of paperwork on her desk, still smiling over Xander's first English word an hour ago.

_Poppy could see she was growing frustrated over her lack of movement until the medi-witch gave her what seemed to be a defining tip._

"_When thinking of a word, place it on an object so it is easier to draw up when you want to talk about it, does that help Xander?"_

_The girl was looking at her entwined fingers, mouthing a word Poppy couldn't see until she looked up into Poppy's eyes and said_

"_M-mother." Her voice cracked but was happy when she looked at the woman._

"_Oh my, that was very good, my dear." Poppy whispered, clutching the girl's hands._

Severus had her speaking the alphabet almost perfectly two hours later when the doors opened again, only not admitting not Albus, but a very tall, dark skinned man who seemed to know Severus.

"Kingsley, this is a surprise, what brings you here?" Poppy asked, moving out of her office.

Xander observed Kingsley from behind Severus' shoulder, as he had moved instinctively in front of her, and could see that he was built wide, with muscles that appeared from under his robes, as she was told that was what most witches and wizards wore, and could see the tip of his wand in his sleeve.

"Albus informed my office that there was a foreign orphan in Hogwarts that would need transfer papers in order to be placed in an English orphanage without hassle." Kingsley answered.

"No!" Xander cried out before she could stop herself, hands clasped over her mouth as all three adults looked at her.

Severus and Poppy knew instantly why she didn't want to go to another orphanage, fearing the same life as she had in Russia. Poppy couldn't allow the little girl to suffer anymore, so she turned to Kingsley with the idea that had been swimming in her head for three days now.

"Would it be any trouble if I adopted her?" She asked, trying to ignore the gasp that came from Xander.

"I think it would only trouble Albus, though I don't know why. But I would only need to get both the paperwork and Amelia Bones down here, may I use your floo?" he asked, moving towards the fireplace.

"Yes, please hurry." Poppy responded, moving over to the other side of the bed, catching Xander, who had thrown herself at the woman, Russian flying from her lips.

"English Xander, please."

"Thank you, mother." Xander cried out, clinging to the woman.

Poppy gave no response, only held the child closer while looking up at Severus with a silent question that he nodded yes to, gaining a smile from the medi-witch. The fireplace roared to life and Kingsley helped a young woman with short brown hair and honey eyes stepped out.

"Poppy Pomfrey? Amelia Bones, so I understand you want to adopt the Russian orphan that Albus brought here a week ago?" Amelia asked, sitting in the chair next to the bed, Xander again hidden by Severus' back.

"Yes, I've been taking care of her, talking to her, helping her adjust and I just know she won't survive in another orphanage since she has been in at least seven since she was born and she's only five-years-old. She needs a stable environment and I already adore her, plus she has grown to trust me. I feel like if she was left in a place with adults she doesn't trust, you would never see her leave." Poppy answered, gripping her robes tightly.

Amelia smiled sadly and looked towards Kingsley with a knowing look in her eyes.

"Can I speak with her or can't she not speak properly yet?"

"She's learning English, but it's broken most of the time. She just needs the translation charm for now." Severus answered, turning towards Xander and whispering

"_Reddo_."

Xander smirked and moved to the edge of the bed, where she could see Amelia, who smiled at her.

"Can you tell me your name?"

"Xander and I'm five-years-old. I don't have a last name, in fact I only have Xander because Poppy gave it to me."

"You didn't have a name at all, how did that happen?" Amelia asked, concern in her voice.

"The first orphanage didn't have a name on record for me when I was left there, and it's not normal to give a baby a name. I just was called 'girl' all the time or worse names by the other children."

Amelia held back the tears that were burning in the back of her throat as she made notes in Xander's new file, already coming to her decision.

"So you like it here, with Madam Pomfrey?"

"Yes, I really do."

Nodding, Amelia filled out the information and handed the paperwork for Poppy to sign while asking

"Am I to guess that you will be the godfather, Severus?"

The man nodded and signed where it was indicated, getting a sudden hug from behind, Xander's arms barely reaching around him, when he finished. Amelia was silently speaking with Poppy before turning back to Xander, who was grinning up at her.

"You make sure that you take of your mom ok? We'll talk soon, so keep up all the work with your English, ok Xander?"

"Yes mam."

The witch smiled and left with Kingsley while Poppy seemed to jump into overdrive.

"I'll take to the manor right now, she needs new clothes and some toys. Severus, can you see if there are any books that I use to help tutor her? I know you must have some age proper potion kits that she could study with you at the manor with. Oh, the elves will be very glad to have something to do. Xander dear, come here, I need to change your clothes so you'll be warmer when we go out."

Xander slipped off the bed and walked up to her mother while Severus stood behind her, hand resting on the back of her head. Poppy waved her wand and the white gown was now a pair of warm pants, fur lined boots and her renewed blue sweater with a winter jacket over that. Poppy then transfigured her old boots into a pair of dark blue gloves and a blue scarf. Xander had never had this much clothing, so she starting tearing up, hiding her face from the adults but Severus could feel her body shaking and brought her up into his arms, her own arms linking around his neck while she silently cried into his neck.

"Is something wrong?" Poppy whispered, stopping midway up her jacket.

"No, I think she is just starting to let the shock set in. I think you should keep the spell active when you go into Diagon Alley, so she doesn't feel isolated." Severus replied, rubbing circles on Xander's back while he walked out with Poppy to the edge of the wards of Hogwarts. They thankfully avoided Albus the whole way and before she left, she gave Severus a thick letter to give to Albus before picking Xander up.

"Ok, now I can't use the floo network with you yet sweetheart, but I want to hold me very tightly. I promise nothing will happen to you this time."

"Ok mother, goodbye Severus." Xander whispered, the tears no longer flowing.

"Goodbye." He said curtly, but with a rare smile towards her.

Poppy held her close and apparated to a dark alleyway, putting Xander down, who clung to her open hand and pulled out her wand, tapping certain bricks before they started moving back, Xander's eyes wide as she watched as a whole new world appeared before her. Poppy started walking, Xander still clutching her hand.

A/N: Ok I think ten pages is my limit right now. Ok so I really would love to hear anyone's response to this. Remember, the more reviews, the more inclined I will be to pump out a new chapter.


	2. A Blurry Birthday and a Jade Cat

A/N: Hello to anyone who actually reads this! Woah, it's been a very long time since I've updated but, it's hard to be motivated to write when I have no reviews…SO anyway, here is the next chapter.

Disclaimer: see 1st chapter! I do not repeat myself. Also, any language that you can't read is Russian and you can use Google translate to reads it (that's what I used to get the sentences in the first place).

**Chapter 2: A Blurry Birthday and a Jade Cat**

Xander was lying in her bed, sapphire eyes staring up at the moving ceiling as the birds flew from tree to tree, singing as her alarm clock. She would have slept through the calls, that is until the mockingbird noticed her lack of attention to them when the time came and moved directly over her head and began it's cat like screeching until her pillow connected with the bird's painted face.

"I'm up, I'm up you bloody racket." She had whispered before moving to her current position.

She was turning 11 today and in two weeks would officially begin her education at Hogwarts, although she had been going there each school year since the summer she arrived there. Poppy had made sure she had the best tutor she could get, Severus teaching her both Potions and Defense against The Dark Art's while Poppy of course covered healing but Charms as well. For the rest of her subjects, including learning to properly speak English, an old woman named Glanis Ruby, who lived only ten minutes from Pomfrey manor, taught her. By age seven, she had perfected her English, although she liked to slip into Russian when upset but now that both her mother & godfather understood Russian, she had to watch her herself more carefully.

"Miss Xander, are you getting up for breakfast?" A small voice asked from the side of her bed.

"Yes Lim, I'm getting up." She answered, swinging her way off the bed.

Her hair hadn't grown an inch since she was five, the black strands still swinging just above her ears, but now it was mused up, most likely from her sleepless night, tossing and turning until only a few hours before she was woken up.

"Miss Poppy wants you in the summer room for breakfast this morning." Lim chatted, picking out Xander's robes while she reached into her closet, Xander just nodding as she took the robe from the elf before walking out her door.

Her mind was still fuzzy as she walked down to breakfast, the cool floor chilling her bare feet, the bright blue nail polish shimmering in the dim morning sun that was streaming through the large windows that adorned her home. She couldn't seem to shake this even as she walked into the summer room, one of the largest, open-air rooms in Pomfrey manor and it was her favorite room as it allowed the most air and sun in, although the barriers were drawn as another summer storm was brewing outside.

"Morning mother." She said, sitting down next to Poppy.

"Happy birthday Xander." Poppy replied, kissing her cheek. "Lim said that you kept tossing and turning last night." She added as she sipped her tea.

Xander stopped her glass halfway to her mouth before setting it down again. "Yah, I was having this really disturbing dream that I couldn't for the life of me now remember, but it kept me up all night. My head is still fuzzy, like it's set in a fog."

Poppy made a small noise while giving her daughter her 'medi-witch' look, as Xander called it, before sighing and whispering to herself. Xander went back to her breakfast, although she didn't seem to have an appetite, and kept thinking on her dream. She didn't notice when the world became extremely foggy around her, nor did she hear her mother calling to her when she suddenly stood up and walked out into the now down pouring rain & over to the large stone garden fence. She climbed up, still in a fog unable to hear Poppy's voice, and stood with her face upwards, the whispers fighting to speak loudest in her mind.

'…_Just do what I tell you to do…'_

'_Don't listen to him my angel, run now!'_

'_Silence you wench!'_

Poppy was frightened that she couldn't get through to Xander, recognizing the trance like phase she was in, this only happening once before from when her child first arrived in her Wing, and she rushed to the floo.

"Snape Manor!" She hissed before sticking her into the blue flames.

He was in his study when her head popped into his fireplace, so she didn't have to wait.

"Severus you must come quickly, Xander's not well." Poppy whispered, tears already streaming down her face.

When the man nodded, she backed out quickly and he came through seconds later, popping out in a graceful arc. Poppy pointed to the garden where Xander was still standing, thoroughly drenched to the bone, but Severus could see her eyes glowing in the dark weather. He rushed outside only to have her now pure white eyes staring at him.

"_Severus…"_ She said, in a very eerie tone that he found all too familiar.

"Xander, what are you doing out here?" He asked, inching closer.

"_I couldn't tell you why, but…the whispers…the whispers love the rain…"_

Before he could respond, she jumped from the four foot wall and walked back into the manor, dripping water as she walked into the drawling room and sat in the largest window, knees brought to her chest but her arms laying at her sides, her head tilted upwards, as if she was watching the clouds, her hair still wet, the water sliding down her face like tears. Poppy and Severus followed, both fearing what was happening.

"Sev, what's wrong with her?" Poppy asked, turning to face the man.

He simply shook his head, water dripping off him into the floor as he had yet to dry himself, his onyx eyes glued to his goddaughter, concern flooding him. When this had happened in the hospital wing six years ago, he hadn't seen the majority of the 'attack' only the ending, what he was seeing again right now. He moved forward to try and gain her attention but found that she was in a comatose state, eye wide open as they gazed upwards. Sighing, he sat in the chair nearest her while Poppy sat in the other, both watching Xander for any sign of movement. For nearly two hours, they sat in the room, Xander unresponsive until it stopped raining and the sun started peaking through the gray clouds. Only then did she start to stir, bringing her guardians out of their stupor when she made light noises moving.

"Xander?" Poppy asked, moving to stand.

Sapphire eyes turned to her, confusion filling them. "Yes mother?"

"How are you feeling?" Severus asked, standing as she did.

"Stiff, but otherwise fine…wait, why am I in here, what happened to breakfast?" Xander asked, looking at Poppy.

Her mother hesitated before explaining what happened to her, seeing her daughter grow pale. She suddenly cringed in pain, Severus catching her as she fell forward, gripping her head.

"Make it stop." She said in a pain filled whisper, her eyes shut tight.

Severus pulled her into his arms as he stood, her side flush against his as he moved towards the chair. He and Poppy worked in sync: while she ran diagnostic checks of her physical body, Severus eased into Xander's mind, instantly hearing whispered voices as he walked into her familiar landscape barriers. He could see her 'form' huddled on her favorite tree stump, rocking back and forth, covered in what looked like blood. He ran to her, seeing her shaking before he heard her mumbling. He recognized her panic state from early days of training her mind and tried to his best now to calm down, while stopping himself to reacting to the blood that was all over her.

"**It's not mine, but it won't come off. He won't let it come off…"** She whispered, looking up at him.

"Xander, I can't understand you." He replied, kneeling in front of her.

Frustrated, Xander threw the rock that was suddenly in her hand in a seemingly random direction, until a respond followed the throw.

"That wasn't nice."

The tone sent shivers up and down Severus' spine but when he looked to face the voice, all he saw was a tall, cloaked figure, the very air darkened around him.

"**Wasn't meant to be nice, asshole."** Xander hissed, standing.

"Naughty language little one." The man whispered, moving forward.

But, he was stopped when another figure appeared in between him and the other two: a figure with waist length blonde hair, who stood at 6 feet tall. The figure's hand rose, stopping the man, who began to almost growl at the figure.

'_You will not hurt her.'_

Her voice made Xander look up, the familiar sound coming back to her, staring up into the storm, telling her to run from this man…

"I'm tired of you interfering!" The man yelled, throwing what looked like red rocks at the figure, the objects exploding in contact with the figure's white robes.

"**No!"** Xander yelled out weakly, her bloodied hand reaching forwards, through Severus' arms.

The environment dissolved and both Xander and Severus found themselves back in the drawling room, Poppy teary eyed as she kneeled next to her daughter. She breathed a sigh of relief as Xander launched herself into her mother's arms. Severus stood, a grim look overtaking his feature, obviously going over what he had seen in his goddaughter's mind.

"Я не хочу так больше." Xander whispered into Poppy's chest, shivering.

"I know dear, come on. I'll make you some tea." Her mother replied, moving Xander to the nearest chair before calling for a large pot of tea.

"Severus, what happened?"

"Нет! Не говорите ей!"

Eyes locked onto Xander, who was staring at Severus with fear in her own eyes. Poppy was even more worried but before she could continue, Xander stood and said

"Я собираюсь вернуться в постель."

Poppy watched her walk out before turning back to Severus.

"Something has forced her back to Russian until she, if she can, breaks the spell herself. Let her sleep, she needs to rest. I'm worried about these trances, they seem to just take over and that voice she spoke with…I can't recall where I've heard it before." Severus trailed off before walking towards Xander's room, finding the girl curled around her giant dolphin plush, her black hair a blot on the plush's white fur.

"Вхатьс со мной, дядя?" Her voice said, muffled.

"Nothing Xander, but someone or something is messing with your mind." He replied, sitting on the edge of the bed, finding his lap suddenly full as she curled into his side, something she hadn't dropped in six years.

"Я просто хочу нормальной жизни, почему это так трудно для меня получить?"

He smirked, his fingers wrapping around her shoulders.

"I think you have a normal life; a mother who adores you, a warm place to call home, a uncle who comes very close to spoiling you-"

"Вам не надо!"

"Oh but I think I do, seeing as I planned on sneaking you away to Diagon today for some birthday shopping."

She looked up into his face, Severus seeing the dried tear tracks on her own face and smiled.

"Really?" She whispered before sitting up, "Yes, I can speak English again!"

Again, Severus smirked before they continued to talk until she fell asleep against the plush dolphin. He left her room before returning to Snape manor, thoughts once again on her trance before he himself retired for the night.

* * *

"Sev, come on, you're being a slow poke!" Xander teased, standing in front of Flourish & Blott's while waiting for her godfather.

"Little prat." He whispered, deciding to finally lead the rest of the walk to Gringotts as he walked past her.

Grinning, she quickly followed, walking next to him while humming, determining to make this day better then yesterdays.

"Why do we need to go to the bank? Don't we have that fancy new card they gave mum?"

"Well, we can't get what we need to get through the card." Was all he said in response as they ascended the marble steps and entered the bank.

He left her by the doors while he spoke to a particular ugly teller, leaving her to examine the ancient walls, admiring the handy work when an all to familiar voice greeted her ears.

"I don't think it's fair that first-years don't get to have brooms, even when we are better then the rest of the teams!" The whiny voice of Draco Malfoy said almost directly behind her.

'_Oh and how do you know that you are better then the rest, you twit?'_ She thought to herself as she slid into the nearest alcove, watching Draco walked with his mother, Narcissa looking like she wanted ear plugs.

Deciding that her own mother would be upset if she knew Xander was spying on anyone, even if it is the Malfoy's, she walked out into the light very happy that she had worn her best clothes today, a long white skirt with matching slip-ons and a blue blouse under crisp, new black robes.

"Good morning, Lady Malfoy." She greeted with a small bow of her head, Glanis' deportment training coming out in waves.

"Oh, Miss Pomfrey, what a delight to see you here. Draco, do say hello." Narcissa replied, watching her son with a sharp eye.

But the boy ignored both of them, instead choosing to walk off, mumbling to himself, but his not so graceful exit was stopped when Severus walked up to them.

"Oh Severus, this is a surprise, what brings you here at this time of day? I figured you would be spending you summer in your lab." Narcissa said, smirking at the man.

"Oh I stole him away today, since I wasn't well yesterday to celebrate my birthday. So he is making up the lost present time today before mum steals me away tomorrow to go school shopping." Xander quickly replied, sliding her arm into Severus', whose smirk told he knew what she was up to.

"Oh, well happy birthday, many returns my dear. Come Draco, we have errands to finish."

With that, the Malfoy's walked off, leaving Xander to grin after them as she let Severus led her towards the carriages and after ten minutes, they arrived at what she knew to be a private vault of her godfather's.

"Xander come here, I want to give you something." Severus' voice was suddenly very quiet and calm as his out stretched hands went towards the innards of the vault.

She walked in, wrapping her robes tightly around herself, as the vault was about 20 degrees cooler then the summer weather outside, gazing at the objects that filled the small vault. Her godfather walked silently behind her, his eyes watching her back carefully as she slowly walked among the private items that Severus had collected over his life.

"Is this the vault you told me about, oh what was it, three years ago?" Xander asked, sapphire eyes turning to him.

Nodding, Severus moved forward, his long, slim white fingers wrapping around a small, black wooden box. He opened the box; the contents blocked from her view, and removed a small, aged black/silver object that he then handed to her, her own pale fingers gingerly taking what she could now see was an old looking bracelet, old runes adoring the metal. She was silent as she examined the item, tears pricking her eyes; she recognized the runes as old Celtic words for 'protection', 'dream', 'live', 'heart' and 'strength'.

"It's…oh uncle it's wonderful." She whispered before hugging him, allowing him then to place the bracelet on her left wrist, the ancient spells instantly wrapping around her body.

A gentle silence followed them as they left the underground vaults, back into the warm summer light before he led her to the various shops of Diagon Alley, Xander soon clutching her new wand, a 9 inch long yew wand with the blood of the rare dark unicorn, said to give power to any spell she tried. She was badgering Severus about the dark unicorn, never hearing of them in her studies with both him and Glanis, gaining the valued information as the walked among the shelves of the animal emporium, hoots and other animal noises occasionally interrupting the conversation.

"Thought about what creature you want?"

"I tried, but it seems like my mind refused to settle on one before I've seen any." She replied, stopping in front of a cage of small, furry creatures that gave tiny yews at her presence, tiny blue eyes drawling 'awe's' from her lips before she moved on, her fingers hovering over the sides of the cages before she stopped so suddenly, Severus' feet came very close to tangling with her own as she kneeled down next to a cage of small, jade colored cat-like creatures.

With eyes of pure silver, the jade cats gave almost whispered meows as Xander lowered her hand into the glass container, the creatures purring, rubbing against her hand. One creature curled up in her hand, obviously the youngest of the cats for it was the smallest, before she removed her hand, the creature's silver eyes watching her as she smiled down at, her free hand gently petting the almost silk-like fur.

"Well, you're the first person I've seen that was actually allowed to touch them." An airy voice said from Xander's other side.

She looked up to see a young man, with short brown hair and honey eyes, said eyes watching the jade cat that was still watching Xander. The young man was dressed in a uniform that she recognized from the other workers in the store and had stains on the apron he wore around his waist.

"Can you tell me what kind of creature she is?" Xander asked, standing to face the teller.

"It's a Moscow Lynx-" he stopped when Xander shared a look with her uncle at this statement, continuing when she looked back towards him, "-a rare creature that we obtained just last week, but we found out too late that each cat has a destined owner, so it makes it hard to sell them to just anyone. We received information from the breeders in St. Petersburg with them, if you're interested in it." He replied, already handing a small blue booklet to her.

She read it, while Severus went to choose an owl for her, knowing that Poppy would prefer Xander having a private post carrier to the owls in the owlery at Hogwarts. She had finished the reading when he stopped in front of her with a large barn owl, quickly paying for both creatures before they left the store.

Severus treated her to a lunch in a small bistro in a hidden corner of Diagon before he finished his birthday shopping for her, returning her to Pomfrey manor right around dinner time, where they found Poppy standing by the dining room table with a bird shaped cake next to her, happy to see Xander smiling as her daughter showed her the baby lynx to her, the jade creature now somehow sleeping on Xander's shoulders.

The night past by with light conversations, Xander slipping into her bed with the newly named lynx, called Hallie. Admit another fuzzy dreams of dizzying lights and muffled screams, Hallie had crawled on top of her head, Xander falling into an almost silent sleep, broken only by either meows from Hallie or deep breaths from Xander.

Neither heard the door open or see a figure slip into the room or feel the bed dip when figure sat on the edge of the bed. Poppy was grateful that after three days of restless sleep, her daughter finally was sleeping peacefully as far as should see. She moved to the other side of the bed, leaned down next Xander's ear and whispered

"Sleep well, my little princess." Kissing her daughter's forehead, she left room, not hearing the small voice before closing the door.

"помощь."

A/N: finally, a new chapter! Again, the weird letters and sentences is Russian and I used Google translate to get them, so if you want to know what Xander has said, you can find out that way. I would love some reviews, because they feed both my muse and me. I don't know when I will be updating again, but I will not try and let so much time pass between now and then again.


	3. Can you see the scars?

A/N: I seem to be making a habit of long release times, but I do not mean it, this just happens, sorry!

Disclaimer: see 1st chapter! I do not repeat myself. Also, any language that you can't read is Russian and you can use Google translate to reads it (that's what I used to get the sentences in the first place).

A/N: at times I will use **bold** lettering when anyone speaks Russian, but I will still use the language in it's real form as well.

**Chapter 3: Can you see the scars?**

Xander couldn't help but stare at Hallie as she ran around the library, the lynx chasing after small bugs, or that's what she claimed she has seen.

"Hallie, you're chasing air and you know it." She teased before turning her attention to the last of her schoolbooks, only two days before she headed off for her first year.

'_You're just mad you can't chase them around.'_ Hallie's voice teased back, her silver orbs now watching her mistress.

Xander had quickly bonded with her familiar and after that, both of the girls discovered a barrel full of abilities that came with the bond, one of which was telepathy with each other, helpful as Hallie's ability to sense the true aura of a person was developing at a rapid pace.

Yawning, Xander was reminded of the restless nights she'd had since her birthday, the same man & woman yelling around her, always over her but she could never hear them, waking in a sweat every time the man's eyes looked at her; bright blue eyes that were dead with evil. Putting the book down, she picked up Hallie and moved to the window seat, watching the rain clouds gathering as she slipped into her favorite position: curled into the massive, plush pillows that were behind her& Hallie curled up on her stomach, already falling asleep. She started humming one of her favorite songs, speaking some parts while watching the rain pouring down the window. She tuned out her surroundings, which is why she was unaware of the door opening and a familiar figure walking in as she spoke another part before falling silent

"_Swallowed up in the sound of my screaming, cannot cease for the fear of silent night. Oh, how I long the deep sleep, dreaming, the goddess of imaginary light._"

Sapphire eyes lit up in the flash of lighting, also seeing the dark figure in the reflection, turning to see onyx eyes watching her carefully, watching her for signs of the wretched trances. Seeing none, he walked over and sat near her feet.

"Poppy tells me you haven't been sleeping right. Why didn't you contact me?" Severus asked, petting Hallie, who rolled over at his touch, giving him access to her belly.

She didn't respond, drawing his eyes up to see her on the verge of tears, either from the stress over the lack of sleep or the question itself. He could see her fighting with herself and he hated it.

Sighing, Severus just started talking with her, a routine he had developed ever since he had noticed the trances coincided with rain, or thunderstorms to be more accurate, but one never knew when a simple rain could gain the elements of the storm. Xander knew what he was doing but allowed him to keep her from the rain, still shaken at what happened on her birthday.

"Excited to leave, Xan? I see you read all your books, except this one." Severus asked, picking up her History of Magic book from the table.

'_When did he move?'_ She asked herself before answering, "You know me and history, we don't mix to well. Plus, I've heard horror stories about Binn's classes…" She trailed off, an unwell, familiar pressure on her magic making itself known. Moving, she rested on her side, facing the still dark grounds before falling asleep, the debt demanding to be repaid.

Seeing this, Severus summoned a warm throw for her before leaving her to rest, the last thing he saw was Hallie moving to sleep on her mistress' head before falling back asleep.

* * *

Since both Poppy and Severus had to be at the school before her, she was left to go to Platform 9 ¾ by herself, Lim shrinking her trunk for her right before she floo'd, leaving her warm, quiet, comforting house for the chaos that was the pre-flight of all the wizarding children from their parents. She walked swiftly through the crowd, avoiding contact at any cost, only stopping when she spotted a gang of redheads, looking for two in particular. Locating her quarry, she made her way to them, only to see a new face in the crowd around her targets: a small boy with jet-black hair and emerald eyes, who seemed fascinated and terrified of everything around him at the same time.

"_Wow, mum was right. Harry Potter is coming to Hogwarts this year_, _but he doesn't look like the boy Uncle is always speaking of…"_ She thought as she began moving again, but before she could even say their names, the whistle blew on the train.

She bolted onto the scarlet beast before finding a compartment to sit, finding an empty one near the far end. Sitting, she withdrew Hallie from her pocket and set the lynx on the table in front of her, smiling when Hallie began examining the area around her, the compartment seemingly swallowing the cat's form. The train started moving and she could hear the families calling out to each other, a frown forming as she whispered

"Бог, это будет скучно."

Right as she whispered this, the door slid open and Xander turned to see a boy with olive skin and honey eyes in the doorframe, forms behind him that she couldn't diseur. She moved Hallie to her lap, the lynx giving a small yowl before stilling, her silver eyes watching the forms.

"Do you mind if we sit in here, there isn't enough space elsewhere?" He asked, his Italian accent washing over her.

"No, I don't mind. Please, do sit."

The boy nodded and moved into the compartment, Xander now able to see four others after him: a girl with long brown hair and a pug face, two oaf like boys behind her and finally, "_Oh no, not him." _she thought, Draco Malfoy, who saw her and sneered.

"Sorry, forgot to introduce myself. My name is Blaise Zambini, that's Pansy Parkinson, the two big guys there are Crabbe & Goyle and that is-"

"She knows who I am, Blaise, despite her horrible appearance." Draco interrupted.

"Снобби колкость." Xander whispered, looking down at her outfit, which was not shabby at all, in fact it was some of her best clothes: a silk, blue skirt that rested at her knees, a soft black blouse and crisp new robes.

"Я совершенно согласен." A voice whispered.

Her head snapped up, finding Blaise's eyes shining with hidden laughter, but before she questioned him, she repaid his manners.

"Pleasure to meet you all, I'm Xander Pomfrey." She said, looking at everyone, minus Draco.

After a few greetings with the others, Pansy drew Malfoy's attention away from Xander, allowing her to turn back to Blaise.

"**You speak Russian?"**

"**I know four languages: English, Italian, Russian & Spanish. Mother has had many new husbands from all over. But why do you know Russian?"**

"**Well, I was born & and lived there until I was five."**

"**Wow, that's cool. Where were you born and how did you get to the good old UK?"**

"**I was born in St. Petersburg and as to how I ended up on this tiny island, well I still don't now why he came all the way to Russia to find me, but Albus Dumbledore retrieved me from the streets of Moscow. While I am glad he helped me find a home here, the man, I just know I cannot trust him or anything he says."**

The pair was oblivious to the others around them; fine with the others as they weren't paying attention to them, except for the random, almost invisible looks that Draco gave them.

"**How did he help & why can't you trust him?"**

"**Well, he didn't really try to find me a home, in fact he was going to put me into an orphanage here, but when he brought me into the Hospital Wing, mum said she loved me instantly. I think it helped my case when Dumbledore brought me by side apparation when I was sick and had severe injuries before hand. As to why I don't trust him, I can't explain it. I haven't been able to shake the feeling he had reasons and purposes for finding me and none were for the good of me. But what plans he had were ruined when mum adopted me."**

"**Interesting, so you've had an adventurous life. Here I thought I did, with so many stepfathers."**

Blaise looked when there was a knock at the door and a bushy haired girl opened the door.

"Excuse me, has anyone seen a toad?"

When silence met the girl, Xander knew no one but her would answer, just knowing she was muggleborn from the way Draco sneered at her.

"No, sorry we haven't." She replied, turning back towards Blaise after the girl left when Hallie's voice cut through her mind.

"_She's not as innocent as she tries to project. She's got plans…"_

"Hmm, you think so?" Xander replied, forgetting her company as she picked up the lynx to look into her eyes.

"What is that?" Pansy asked, her brown eyes fixated on Hallie.

"This is my familiar, Hallie."

"What is she?" Blaise whispered, reaching across the small table to pet the lynx.

"She's a Moscow Lynx."

Xander spent the rest of the train ride talking with Blaise, occasionally Pansy, who was much more pleasant that most thought, the only quiet soul in the compartment being Draco. She would have spent the whole ride with them if two heads popped into the compartment, bringing a blinding smile to her face.

"Munchkin! Heard that you finally, officially made it to Hoggy warts!" Two voices said as one.

"Fred, George!" She jumped up as she respond, Hallie safe under Blaise's watch, as his fingers never stopped petting the lynx, drawing many happy sounds from her.

Pulled into a massive hug, Xander was dragged out of the compartment, while all three were talking, all nonsense words that no one could understand. Xander was closer to the twins than anyone would know, having met them two years ago in their first year and the three clicked instantly, much to her uncle's horror. She bonded with them, as they kept her company in between the times she was helping her mother in the infirmary or doing her tutor work.

"I tired finding you earlier, but your whole family was there with you and the train was leaving and-"

"Hush you-"

"and tell us-"

"about your summer."

She hesitated, gaining worried looked from the twins before replying.

"Later, ok? I'll message you with the room. Oh, hey we should get ready for the stop, so I promise we'll talk later." She kissed each twins cheek before walking back into the compartment, Fred closing the door behind her, sharing a knowing look with his twin.

Ignoring the looks, she curled up into her seat, watching the scenery flying past as the sky started to dim. Soon, they got ready by donning their robes and the next thing she knew, the train stopped and she walked next to Blaise and Pansy in a slight daze, suddenly very weary. She didn't notice Hagrid or the boats, nor did she notice she climbed the stairs on autopilot. She did take notice when Professor McGonagall gave her normal speech to them, but ignored all around her, Blaise somehow knowing she needed quiet, his form a sort of shied for her before they walked into the Great Hall for the sorting.

She heard the hall echo from the chatter of the students talking, drawing her attention up when it went silent, knowing McGonagall Had walked out with the Sorting Hat. It sang it's song and the process began, going in slow motion for her.

"Спешите." She whispered, drawing a glance from Blaise but both grinned when Draco was sorted in the fastest time in record.

Hearing her name, she walked up, giving a small, but weak smile towards her mother & uncle before sitting, the hat swallowing her head.

' _Well, I was wondering when your head would finally come to me, Miss Pomfrey. Now let's see, where does one put you, a child of great courage, knowledge and cunning? Well, now that's interesting, seems like your true parentage will come to play before they decade plays out young one. Now, you will be most protected in…' _"SLYTHERIN!"

Seeing her uncle give his public version of a radiant smile, she walked over and sat next to Pansy, soon joined by Blaise, the weariness now almost complete exhaustion, her body limp as she let her eyes drifted open shut as they chatter around her dimmed.

"_Finally." _Her ears only heard the voice, but the evil in the vocals made her sit straight, her fear clear to her mother and uncle.

"I'll talk to her later, Poppy." Severus whispered, watching Xander as the feast went on.

A/N: Wow, I fought with this one. Sorry for the wait, but no reviews makes a writer slow.

The lyrics are from Evanescene 'Imaginary'


	4. To See My Heart

A/N: So yah life and school takes the Muse away from me, so I am very sorry for the delay!

Disclaimer: See chapter one. Again, if you want to see the translations from Russian to English, use Google Translate...

Chapter 4: To See My Heart

The feast went by in flashes, conversation going on around her, but the words not always sticking around long enough for her to take in, Blaise's words drawing her away from her thoughts most of the time, like just now

"So Xander, what would be you favorite subject? I think we might have a full house soon, what with me loving Charms, Pansy loves Transfiguration, Draco of course loves Potions, Theo seems to like Herbology, so the question is: Do you, Miss Xander Pomfrey, love Defense Against the Dark Arts? Oh wait, I bet you love Healing cause of your mum, am I right?"

Blaise's honey eyes seemed to be sparking in hidden humor, as if he enjoyed pulling her from her mind, something she didn't seem to mind as every time she went quiet, all she could hear was the man's whispering laugh.

"Well, while I do enjoy healing, I would go with astrology and potions as a tie. I've always been a night owl and a natural cook, so they work out."

"Well, we are just going to have to test your cooking, my dear." Pansy said before snickering into her pumpkin juice.

Their musings were interrupted by Draco's voice suddenly saying

"Why did _they_ get Potter?"

"Why do you care, Draco?" Pansy asked.

"He doesn't belong there, I mean, just look at how he is acting!" Draco hissed his silver eyed still trained on Harry Potter.

Wide-eyed, Xander followed the blonde's gaze to the Gryffindor table, where Harry Potter was sitting, seemly swallowed up by the sea of redheads that surrounded the small boy, but the brunette was on edge, she knew those signs all too well, and she could see that every time he was touched, he flinched, not that any of his house mates noticed.

She didn't voice her concerns, instead turned her attention back to the feast, which was finally at its end and the annoyingly old man stood up, ready to send them to bed.

"Шары Мерлина, он когда-либо заткнуться?"

"**Hey now, that's quite the language.**"Blaise whispered, pulling a small smirk to her lips.

"**You have never heard the Russian drunks have you? I did, at five, and let me tell, I know quite a few words that most didn't even think were speak able.**" She replied, giving a tired wink.

When they were released, Xander stood and followed her housemates, who were following a fifth-year named Danielle Sunnis, to the Slytherin dorms and after Sunnis gave the password, 'dying moon' to the dark pixie paining, they entered the common room. It was a surprisingly warm room, the three roaring fireplaces keeping the chill of the stone from the students. The chairs and couches were varied in color, from white to deep green while the large carpets where all embedded with the Slytherin crest.

Blaise, Xander and Theo, a dirty-blonde boy with muddy eyes, who had a quirky humor, claimed the large white couch in front of the middle fireplace, all three falling into a heap onto the plush surface.

"Professor Snape will be here momentarily to talk to you first-years & when he is done, go straight to bed. Classes start bright and early tomorrow morning and if there is one thing we Slytherin's will ever be known for, it will be that we were never late for a single class." Sunnis said before leaving the common room again, leaving all the first-years to remain while the older years moved into their own rooms.

Because the Slytherin dorms were in the dungeons of the castle, their dorms were not cramped together like the other tower houses; instead most students in years 1-4 shared two to a room and 5-7 were in single suites with adjoining bathrooms, depending in the set-up of the rooms. Xander knew this because she had been babysat when she was younger by older Slytherins when both Poppy and Severus couldn't during the school year, not that she minded, as she had been in all four houses multiple times, something she still held over the twins.

'_Nice, yah, that's what this room is, nice.'_ She thought as she snuggled into the plush couch, her head leaning on Blaise's shoulder, the Italian only moving so she rested comfortably as he talked with the group around them.

She didn't see him glance at her multiple times to see her sapphire eyes staring into the flames, Hallie curled up next to her stomach, her fingers absently petting the lynx, who purred loudly with each movement of the digits. She also didn't see the looks that the other students were giving the small group of five, who despite the initial reaction of Xander being in Slytherin by Draco, were all getting along like they had know each other their whole lives.

She also didn't really registrar when Severus walked into the common room and gave his yearly speech to all his students, watching her through small glances as she still relaxed against Blaise, the area around her head far to warm to sit away from, whispering this to Blaise when he asked why she was leaning still, gaining a small smile from the Italian.

"Before the end of the week, all of you will see me to assess your strengths and weaknesses and will set up a study schedule that you will follow. I will not tolerate failure if there is no proof of proper attempt at any of your classes. Now, you are dismissed."

She moved up but not from the couch, the silent order from Severus clear, letting Blaise free before the rest of her year-mates went to bed.

"What happened at dinner, Xander?" Severus asked, when the last door closed.

"I'm not quite sure, I was overly tired for some reason, but after I was sorted, I heard _his_ voice."

Severus felt a chill run through his spine. _He_ was not a name but a title for the dark man from her trances and if she was hearing _him_ outside if the trances, it meant that they were, as they suspected, connected to her past, but still unknown as to how.

"I will expand my search, but for now I want you to go to bed. You will be sharing a room with Ms. Parkinson, so you best go claim some bathroom space now."

She nodded and stood as he left for the door but her voice stopped him.

"Uncle?" He turned to find her at his side, "я тебя люблю."

He gave her a small smile and kissed her forehead before she turned and walked down one of the few first-year hallways while he left the common room.

* * *

The first week of classes went by with relative ease, Xander easily gaining her house plenty of points; this also seemed to gain her an enemy in the bushy-haired girl from the train, whose name turned out to be Hermione Granger, because every professor seemed to overlook the eager Gryffindor's hand for Xander's half-bent arm. Every time she answered a question over Granger, she swore she could see the know-it-all build up to a stroke.

"HAHA, god I love seeing Granger just pissed off. I think she has never had to compete with someone beyond her level of intelligence." Blaise said, relaxing with her and Pansy on the white couch, Friday afternoon.

Xander only smirked from her position: resting against Blaise's knees while reading for her Transfiguration essay, letting Draco answer for her.

"It can't be helped that the stupid Gryfindork can't handle true skill." The blonde responded, his eyes never leaving his charms essay.

A slim, black eyebrow raised up & sapphire eyes turned to look at the boy before she said

"Surely I didn't just receive a compliment from you, Malfoy?"

"Hold onto it, Pomfrey, it doesn't happen twice." The blonde responded, pulling a snicker from the Italian behind her.

"**Well, who would have guessed he had a sense of humor?**"

"**It has been known to happen, Xan.**"

"Hey, you know, it's rude to speak in a language that no one else understands."

"Not everyone is as uncultured as you, Theo." Xander answered coolly, but her eyes betrayed the spark of humor that sent most of the small group into laughter.

But suddenly, she was seized by a sharp stiffening of her muscles that only two in the room noticed: Hallie because of her bond with her mistress and Blaise, as her back was flush against his knees. But before any comments on this could be made, the pain was gone and she was sitting up, holding her book tightly in her hands.

"_Mistress?_"

"_Later Hallie, please._"

"Xan, you ok?" Blaise whispered, sitting close.

"Yes, I'm fine, but I'm going to go see my mother just in case."

Without any further word, she stood and left the common room, Hallie following silently behind her. She traveled through the halls, her mind racing as she felt her whole body go through spasms of pain, as if in waves. She almost made it to the infirmary, but she stopped when she saw that she was no longer 'in' a Hogwart's hallway: It was blurry and everywhere she turned and she was surrounded by students, many who walked right through her, but it was two of them that stood out, standing maybe ten feet from her.

The woman had blonde hair down to her waist, part of it drawn over her shoulder, in the fingers of the man whose bright blue eyes were sparkling with an emotion Xander could not place. The woman had eyes that seemed to be a pure gold color and had skin that the term 'moon-kissed' seemed just right for. The woman started laughing after he whispered something to her, drawing him close to kiss him, despite the open environment. Xander drew closer, the pull too strong for her to ignore and when she was right behind them, she could see clearly the man's face.

It was _Him_ and that meant that the woman was...was the woman who always protected her in her trances and visions. She was pulled from her musings when the woman spoke to _him_.

"I do not know how I will survive three months without you, my love." Her Russian accent rolled over Xander like a blanket, filling her with an unknown source of deep sorrow & lost.

"We will figure something out, Alisa." The man replied, resting his fingers on her cheek.

His voice wasn't as foreboding as it always was in her trances, but she could hear the lies in his tone & she could tell that he was using her, but Xander couldn't figure out for what.

"I should go before they come looking for me, I swear they think this school swallows me whole when I'm alone. Like there aren't any magical castles in St. Petersburg and I wouldn't know my way around a building more then two floors." Alisa said, kissing his cheek before walking away, towards what Xander knew to be the Ravenclaw tower. Alisa's hair shimmered in the afternoon light, but Xander was watching the man's face, seeing a possessive anger take over his features when Alisa walked away.

A few seconds later, two large males walked around the corner and headed for _him_ when they spotted him.

"There you are, Headmaster Dippet is looking for you. Told us to come and retrieve you." The blonde man said, his eyes suspiciously like Draco's.

"Did you tell him that I might just be busy with Prefect duties, Malfoy?" _He_ hissed in response, the blue eyes taking on a familiar glint.

"Well, Abraxas did say something like that, but Dippet is very insistent." The brunette man said, giving _him_ a small grin.

But _he_ didn't grin or smirk or sneer back at the man, only hissed something before both men were against the wall, _his_ fingers tight around their throats. Xander flinched, the memory of that happening to her in her trances racing back.

"You both ARE grossly incompetent, if you had walked here even 30 seconds earlier then you did, my plan would be ruined! Do this again and I will not stop myself again." _He_ dropped them before he swiftly left the corridor, leaving her to watch the men try and regain their footing and dignity. They stood and dusted of their robes, before they too left the corridor, only in the opposite direction of _him_.

Xander suddenly found herself in the Ravenclaw common room, watching Alisa talk with her friends, sapphire eyes watching the woman very carefully.

"Alisa, you never finished our conversation last night." A red head said, bringing her blonde-haired friend's attention to her.

"Oh yes, that's right, we were talking about children right?" Alisa replied, smiling at her friend.

"Names, not children, names."

"Oh right, I decided long ago that when I had my daughter, her name will be Inessa Rose and she will be spoiled with copious amounts of love everyday." Alisa said with a smile and small laugh.

Xander had suddenly influx of memories, but only heard

"Будь здорова, моя милая Инесса Роуз." before she found herself once again in the hospital wing corridor.

"Xander?" Her mother's voice brought her back until she was looking into Poppy's warm brown eyes.

Tears were streaming down her face as she collapsed into her mother's arms, sobs racking her body, non-sensible words spilling out in Russian and English as Poppy carried her to the infirmary, the medi-witch simply holding her daughter close before putting her in the nearest bed, letting the sobs rock the body, knowing she could do nothing to stop the tears once they started, but she wrote down the words that always slipped out in Russian from Xander's lips.

"**Alisa…pain…HIM…mother…tricked…**"

Poppy failed to remember her other patient as she tried to calm Xander, not seeing the green eyes that watched the scene, his eyes wide as he heard the hissing words slip in between the Russian and English words coming from the Slytherin's mouth.

"_Can't….let….little…one….live…_"

When the doors of the infirmary slammed open, Harry was surprised to see Snape rushing towards the girl's bed, his eyes fixed on her shacking form.

"What happened, Poppy?" He asked as he began the scans over his goddaughter's form.

"I don't know, I was checking inventory when I just felt like I should go out into the hallway and I found her there, walking around in small circles, in her trance state but she wasn't acting like she normally does; she seemed to be following something or someone around until I got her out of it." Poppy replied, becoming frantic when Xander suddenly went still, one phrase slipping past her lips before she fell into a deep sleep

"Я ... Инесса роyз ..."

A/N: And here is chapter 4 and this may be the last one I write, cause I am getting no reviews and because of that, I am fighting to write anything for this story…


	5. Only the Good Die Young

A/N: wow, I only got one review but innocent as far as you know's review was very special and I thank her for it, & I will write this for her!

Disclaimer: See chapter 1!

Chapter 5: Only The Good Die Young

"Инесса роyз?" Poppy whispered, turning towards Severus. "Could that be the name her birth mother wanted to give her? But how did she figure it out?"

"I would guess that it was the trance she had, I'm going to go in and see if she is 'awake' or not." He replied before gently resting his fingers on Xander's brow, drawn instantly into her mind.

He found himself again in her Redwood forest, but the atmosphere was different, chaotic and yet peaceful at the same time and the fog that drifted along the forest floor was warm and almost seemed to be pushing him towards a new area of the forest. He walked only seconds before he found his goddaughter, standing atop her favorite stump, Hallie surprisingly there as well, the lynx running around the stump, her hisses drawing Severus' eyes to the mouse that she was chasing.

"Xander?"

Sapphire eyes turned to him, tears racing down her face, but there was a sad smile that graced her features.

"**Uncle, I'm glad you're here.**"

"Why?"

"**We were right, the visions and the people, they ****were**** no, ****are**** connected to my past.**"

Before Severus could respond, the area changed until they were standing in a version of Hogwarts. Xander walked over and pointed, Severus following her arm towards a couple of students who stood out from the rest of the students around them.

"**Those are my parents.**"

"What?" Severus moved towards the pair, quickly arriving next to them.

He didn't understand how Xander came to the conclusion that these were her birth parents; the woman had blonde hair down to her waist and gold eyes & the man…

"No." He whispered, eyes wide as he turned back, finding Xander at his side.

"How do you know this?"

"**I remember a tune, you know the one I always hum? I have a memory from when I was born and left at the orphanage, not my own of course, but hers and she's singing the song to me.**" She replied, turning her gaze to the woman, a tune instantly playing.

"_Shtozh tý, milaya, smotrish iskasa,_

_nizko golovu naklanya?_

_Trudno výskazat' i nye výskazat'_

_fsyo shto na sertse u minya._"

Severus watched as the area dissolved from Hogwarts to a small room where the woman was now holding a small child with black hair to her chest, the song softly falling from her lips. The woman looked exhausted: sweat plastered some of her hair to her fair face and she was holding the infant loosely, her limbs held up by her knees.

"**Miss, I need you to give the nurse the babe, I'm not done repairing the damage.**" A voice to Severus' left said, a male in a long blue overcoat coming into the scene.

The woman nodded and handed the baby to the waiting nurse, and the doctor went to work, but not before she whispered to the child, the whisper obvious to Severus and Xander but not the doctor or nurse.

"**Be well, my Inessa Rose.**"

As the nurse left the room, the area dissolved to what had to be a later time, as the room was now dimmed and the woman was sleeping, an IV and heart monitor surrounding her. Severus went to speak, but was stopped when Xander pointed to the door and _he_ walked in and over to the woman's bedside.

"Thought you could hide from me? ME? You were foolish, YOU pathetic thing."

"**Her name is Alisa, you bastard.**" Xander hissed, her sapphire eyes light up.

"You will regret betraying me." _He_ said before pulling out a familiar wand and whispering "Avada Kadavra!"

Alisa's body went limp and the monitors started ringing out, but all Severus could hear was Xander's cries as she hugged her knees and the scene went back to the Redwood clearing. His onyx-eyes took his goddaughter's crying form in a new perspective: she had her real name, some of her history, but what could be the worst news, the names of her parents. Severus eased out of her mind, seeing that she woke when he did, both avoiding Poppy's demanding brown eyes.

"I know those looks and I know I won't get anything out of both you, but please tell me that nothing is physically wrong with her?"

"Physically she is fine." Severus replied, grasping Xander's hand before she moved to the edge of the bed.

"I'm going to go back to the common room." She whispered, quickly leaving the infirmary, not seeing emerald eyes follow her.

* * *

Over the next week, Xander was able to avoid any questions about her short time in the infirmary from Blaise, while also avoiding Severus, who seemed to want to flesh out his knowledge of her parents, so by the time the following Friday came, she gladly crashed on the white couch, her homework long done, her friends finishing their own homework when a small group of upper Slytherins walked down to the common room.

"Alright, listen up! Since we are fully into the year, we have decided to introduce you, our youngest housemates, to a new tradition we started up about four-years ago. Now, who here knows what Karaoke is? Only a few of you, well it is a muggle thing were they sing along with the music of well known songs, but we are tweaking it: we have a way to for you to sing a song based on an emotion or memory or desire, you get the point. As firsties, you have to do it, So you," the sixth-year redheaded Slytherin pointed to a brunette girl who slowly got up, "will go first."

The brunette, whose name escaped Xander, seemed hesitant until the red-head tapped her shoulder and a tune started playing, causing the brunette to sing along, the song a semi-slow song that seemed to be called 'Linger' before the girl was able to sit down and a third-year took her place, the upper years mixing in with the younger years so not to have them feel embarrassed, because they didn't all have to go first before the other years. Some of the songs had the common room laughing, disturbed, crying or feeling confused, but the hours seemed to go by and for once, everyone seemed relaxed.

"Ok, Xander, you're up." Danielle said, smirking at her wide-eyes response.

"I only sing in the shower…" She whispered as Blaise pushed her forward, glaring at the brunette before the redhead tapped her shoulder, still glaring when the tune started.

"_Something always brings me back to you._

_It never takes too long._

_No matter what I say or do I'll still feel you here 'til the moment I'm gone._

_You hold me without touch._

_You keep me without chains._

_I never wanted anything so much than to drown in your love and not feel your rain._"

She knew instantly what the memory was that spawned the song, seeing Alisa's ghostly form in the back of her mind and could feel the tears form behind her eyes.

"_Set me free, leave me be. I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity._

_Here I am and I stand so tall, just the way I'm supposed to be._

_But you're on to me and all over me._

_You loved me 'cause I'm fragile._

_When I thought that I was strong._

_But you touch me for a little while and all my fragile strength is gone._

_Set me free, leave me be. I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity._

_Here I am and I stand so tall, just the way I'm supposed to be._

_But you're on to me and all over me._"

Blaise, Draco, Theo and Pansy were watching her like hawks, seeing the unshed tears finally fall, her sapphire eyes light up with pain and anger, her finger clutching her chest as the song finally ended.

"_I live here on my knees as I try to make you see that you're everything_

_I think I need here on the ground._

_But you're neither friend nor foe though I can't seem to let you go._

_The one thing that I still know is that you're keeping me down_

_Keeping me down_

_You're on to me, on to me_

_and all over..._

_Something always brings me back to you_

_it never takes too long._"

She remained standing there for only a moment, seemingly hours for Xander before she returned to her seat, ignoring when more students went after her, Blaise's hand resting on her shoulders the rest of the night, Alisa's memories coming in pieces, randomly flying through her mind, finding places to hid in the redwood forest of her mindscape.

"You ok?" Blaise whispered, when the night finally ended around 1 am, most of the other students in their dorm rooms, but Xander, Blaise and Draco remained on the white couch, the room dimly lit by the fire.

Draco watched her carefully as she drew a deep breath, sapphire eyes meeting silver and honey before speaking.

"I want a promise, from you both, that you won't speak of word of this to anyone." When they swore, she drew another breath before she spoke again.

"You know I'm adopted and you know that I originally came from Russia, but what you don't know, and honestly we didn't know it until recently, is who my real parents are. I was left on the doorsteps of an orphanage in St. Petersburg's when I was just a few days old and I was shuffled to orphanages all over the country before I finally found myself in Moscow. No one had any knowledge of where I came from or what my name was, in fact Xander was only given to me by Poppy when I was five, after Dumbledore brought me here. I still don't understand why he brought me to England, but I think, no I know it has something to do with my parents, or my father to be more precise." She paused, regaining herself, not looking into her companion's eyes before she continued. "Ever since I was adopted, I have these…trances, where I seem to either be in a memory or I just hear events of what I now know are my parent's history. The most recent on was last week, when I was going to see mom in the infirmary: I walked into a trance, if that's the right word and I was in Hogwarts, but I wasn't," sensing the confusion, Xander decided to reword, "it was like I was back in a different time but in a observant view. I knew it was a memory because everyone was walking through me until I came upon two people: one woman with waist length blonde hair and gold eyes and a man with short black hair and blue eyes. The woman had a Russian accent and after she left, he was left in the hallway with…." She stopped, looking up at Draco.

"What?" he asked.

"Your grandfather and another man. It wasn't until Uncle Severus viewed the memory of the trance did he confirm who the man was." She suddenly felt herself shaking, the memory of Alisa's death stopping her words.

"Xander, who is he?" Blaise whispered, stopped by Draco.

"I have an idea, who. I'm right, aren't I Xander?"

She didn't respond, her breathing erratic, _his_ eyes seemingly staring at her from the embers in the fireplace, but when gold eyes replaced them, she calmed her racing heart a little to finish before she stopped completely.

"My mother's name is Alisa Ivy Lebedev, she was 20 years-old when she was pregnant with me and she had me in secret because it turned out that the man she loved was a sociopath. He killed her after he found her in St. Petersburg, shortly after I had been taken out of her room, because she had a complication and needed surgery, & as far as I know, he never knew she was pregnant because she left Britain. She loved astronomy, cooking, and herbology and wanted to raise me more then she could even state. She had two brothers that were killed when their parents were attacked by muggles before anyone from the Russian Wizarding Ministry could help them. She wanted to be a number of thing but they were taken from her because he couldn't control her." Xander's sapphire eyes were flickering with anger and sadness again, the embers seemingly mocking her from the fire pit. "And my father…_his_ name was Thomas Marvolo Riddle."

Draco and Blaise were silent when she finished, Blaise's hand still resting on her shoulder, but Draco was now standing, his eyes glued to the window. Xander didn't know what to expect from the silver-eyed boy, but wasn't expecting him to suddenly turn, hugging her while she still sat, eyes-wide.

"This is a formal apology to the way I treated you in the past and I want you to know that you will always have a friend in me."

"And I'll be a shoulder for you to use." Blaise added, smiling when she started tearing up.

"_They mean it mistress._" Hallie's thoughts floated from somewhere near the dieing fire.

She let out the breath she didn't know she had been holding before returning Draco's hug.

"Thank you." She whispered, smiling at Blaise before she stood. "I think I need to get some sleep, then deal with Uncle Sev in the morning. Yah, that sounds good, in fact I think it's my best idea ever."

She walked to her shared dorm, Blaise and Draco's laughter accompanying her down the hallway before it ended when she closed the door behind her.

* * *

**Four years later**

"You're fucking kidding me!" Draco seethed, throwing the new 'Defense' professors book across them common room, bringing sapphire eyes up from the potions essay she was finishing.

"She's worse then Lockhart, I did not think that was humanly possible! There is nothing of value in this piece of garbage that she calls a text book!"

Xander shared a look with Blaise before returning to her essay, letting her silver-eyed friend continue his rant on the incompetent Dolores Umbridge, the wanna-be professor appointed by Minister Fudge, in his attempt to 'fix' Hogwarts. So far, she had pissed off almost all of Gryffindor, not that hard, but also had the most of the staff against her, and it was only the first week of school, not a good thing for the 'cursed' position of Defense Against the Dark Arts. Most didn't want to believe that the dark lord was back and alienated Harry Potter, but she knew all to well that the bastard was back, if his constant presence on the outskirts of her mindscape meant anything. Also, it seemed when he regained himself last June, it seemed to trigger a mini-inheritance from Alisa's genes over the summer: her hair is now at shoulder blade length and was mixed with blonde streaks and her iris was slowly being taken over by gold rings. They found out that Alisa was part Elvin, which was why she had gold eyes and 'moon-kissed' skin and Severus also found out that Elf blood is dominant, meaning that Alisa's last parting gift to Xander was a way to push her father's influence out of majority control on her genetics.

A pull on her hair pulled her out of her musings, causing her to turn to stare at Blaise.

"Hey, you know that isn't nice to pull people's hair." She said, pretending to glare at him.

"Sorry! I'm just not used to my girlfriend having blonde hair." He replied, giving her his usual grin.

"I'm not blonde, I have blonde streaks, thank you very much. I mean we all can't be perfect blondes like Pansy and Draco."

This drew Draco out of his rant, turning his gaze onto her, causing her to stifle her giggle as he stalked over.

"And what does that mean, Pomfrey?" He asked, standing at her knees.

"Exactly what you want it to mean, Malfoy." She responded, refusing to look at him knowing she would lose control of her giggling, instead concentrating on Hallie, who was resting on her feet, in her 'small dog' form.

As an adult, Hallie was of course, normally the size of a full grown lynx, but since this caused her not able to find comfortably in a lot of places near Xander's side, she constantly changed shape, her favorite the size of a newborn kitten, as it allowed her to get into areas that let her spy for her mistress.

"Sometimes, I just want to hex you into oblivion." Draco said, semi-glaring at her.

"And the other times?" She asked, quirking her brow.

A visible twitch under Draco's eye was the last straw and Xander started laughing, something that seemed to relax the inhabitants of Slytherin, because over the last year and half, Xander seemed to be on edge and then at the end of last school year, actually snapped at someone, a hex at the tip of her lips when she recoiled, fear in her eyes more then the fourth-year that had 'irritated' her. She had mumbled an apology before running out of the common room, mumbling something like 'never gonna be like him' under her breath.

Xander relaxed against Blaise's knees after she recovered from her laughing feet, Draco finally sitting down again, Hallie now on her ankles, which were just on the other side of Draco's lap, his books resting on her legs. He sent a wordless spell at the pile of 'Defense' books, setting them alight in a contained fire, a bubble charm directing the smoke through the fireplace, every Slytherin confident that they could do any essay or test for the class without reading the book.

A/N: And here is chapter 5, just for Innocent as Far as You Know. I am currently jamming out to Nicki Minaj's verse of Monster cause she is awesome! Don't know if or when chapter 6 will be out, as I start school again on Tuesday…BUT I would love any comments you might have.

Alisa's song- a Russian folksong called Midnights in Moscow

Xander's song- Sara Bareillis- Gravity


End file.
